Stressed beyond belief

I have not written about what is going on at church, since it is all in the middle of going on and since to be honest, up to this point I am still being left in the dark about what is going on. It is funny you would think people would be open and talk to you when there are issues, but I guess my thinking is wrong.

I know this much, I am being called on the carpet for something, but I don't know what. I know there was a meeting about me, but again I don't know what about. I have just been told "there is a serious issue with you and we are meeting about you."

I always thought if people have a problem with you they would talk with you. After all the bible says in Mathew Chapter 18:

A Brother Who Sins Against You 15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

I would think a church would follow the directions given in the bible. But for almost a week now I have been kept in the dark.

I am to report to church Friday for a meeting with my boss and the chair of SPPR. I was asked to bring a list of my strength and weakness to the meeting. That is all I have been told.

Needless to say this whole thing as me soo stressed. Thank gosh when I have my peri appointment they did not check my blood pressure, because I checked it at home and it is high (which anyone who knows me, knows I h normally have really low blood pressure. I am to the point were I can't even eat right, I have zero appetite and today was the worse, I can't keep anything down my stomach is in such knots.

Needless to say I HATE THIS.

I never thought working for a church would be like this, I never thought a church would treat is employees the way I feel I am being treated. I always thought the house of God was better then the business world. I guess my thoughts were wrong, I guess I am learning the hard way. I will honestly say I have been hurt by the church before but I think right now this takes the cake. What stinks even more is I can't really talk to anyone about my feelings, because frankly I am so in the dark about what is going on.