Ok we finally sat down and talked last night. We met at 7 pm at the lodge building (across from our church). We were supose to meet at the church, but my parents changed the location the last minute.
We started off by praying, which I think was good.
My step dad wrote a letter to us, telling us his feelings about the whole situation.
Basically we agreed that my step dad was trying to make me relize the house was a mess, he even said they way he did it was shock value. He did say his use of words was not the best, and he feels ashamed, becuase Catherine has picked up on one of his statments and has repeated it, just one time, thank gosh.
We all agreed we need to talk more, and not let things get out of control.
We also agreed that my step dad is a perfectionist and that some of us are not that way.
My step dad said he was not meaning to attack me and said that if it bothered me so much I should have said something while he was at the house. Although I explained to him my reason for not telling him, which shocked him. (I reminded him of a converstation we had when I was in college on the back deck of their house, we he told me he does not put me down, that it is all my perspective and my perspective is wrong). I think this was a wake up call that how people preseve things my not be the way it was intended but it very real to the person.
My mom refused to talk. All she kept saying when asked if she had something to say was "I have nothing to say, but thank you for the oppertunity" She did that like 10 times, to Tony, my step dad, and myself.
Right at the end she did let out a little and I think she is most upset becuase we did not tell them we were pregnate the Friday there were here hanging up the drapes. The reason I did not tell them was because it was something I felt both Tony and I should talk to them about, and by the time Tony got home they were leaving. I guess they feel I should have stopped them and said we need to talk before you leave.
Also they did not understand why we figured they would not be happy about this pregancy. Which was simple...they were angry about Catherine (which i understand why, because we were not married at the time she was conceived), and they were not happy about Anna (which they say is because they had no idea we were even trying - which is becuase they had made a statment after Catherine, telling us they wanted no more grandchildren, so neither Tony said anything, because we felt we already knew their feelings).
I did point out that if my health is their concern, then just say so, don't cover it up with complaing about the way I dress, the house, and such. We also pointed out that right now there is no concern for my health and if some health became an issue, we would make the most educated choices possible, and that if it was a life or death situation, my life would be come first.
I think that is everything. I left the meeting, feeling better that we talked, and yet because my mom would not talk I am sure there is more to come at some point.
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